No matter how much progress we make in speaking more freely about our sex lives, some myths are bound to stick around. Today, we’re talking about five myths that have stood the test of time–and the truth behind the misinformation.
- Who needs lube?
In short, everyone can benefit from a smoother experience–whether you’re experimenting solo or with a partner. Women may be worried that needing lube means something is “wrong,” but like everything else, natural lubrication levels vary by person. Anal play also calls for a good lubricant to avoid damaging delicate tissues. Lube is just another way to experiment with new sensations–and can end up increasing your comfort at the same time.
- Longer is better pt 1.
More men “measure up” than they think–one global study showed the average penis is between 5-6 inches long, while most men and women alike rated the “ideal” penis length as just above 6 inches. Another study reported that half of gay men think penis size isn’t important at all. So if you’re fretting about size, studies show you should spend that time and energy learning a new technique instead!
- Longer is better pt 2.
For most people, all-night sex sessions are about as mythical as they get–one study reported durations of penetrative vaginal sex ranging from 33 seconds to 44 minutes, but the median duration was just 5.4 minutes. Of course, these surveys only counted actual penetration vs. other sexual activites, but the message is clear: the right amount of time is whatever feels best for the people involved.
- Condoms are one-size-fits-all
As medical devices, condoms are held to certain standards–like a minimum length of
just over 6 inches–but the overall fit and shape can vary by style. Some are flared for more head room, wider at the base for bigger girth, snug all around for more sensation, or extra long and extra wide for the most well-endowed users. Finding the perfect fit can be a process, so try as many styles as it takes to feel comfortable and well-protected.
- Sex is mostly physical
Everyone’s been there–your body would be ready to go, but it’s waiting on your mind to stop thinking about the latest distraction, from your to-do list to the kids’ sports schedule. Getting your mind and body in sync is also a challenge for people who experience anxiety or depression, and can lead to lack of arousal or other issues. The bottom line is this–sex involves the brain as much as the body, so caring for our mental health and wellness is crucial to maintaining a healthy sex life.